22)Poems

So my ex bf, Daniel, drunk calls me last night. He read about Alan and thought that he was my bf. I haven't had a bf since we broke up, just to clarify things up! He asked why I didn't love him or wanna get back with him. So I pulled out my old journal and found some poems that express the way I felt after we broke up. Some of these feelings were also present during the time we were together. History repeats itself and I have the power to keep mine from repeating, thus the choice to remain friends. Daniel these poems are dedicated to you:

WHEN I THINK OF YOU
4 yrs. of promises never fulfilled
I never held the rope to the moon
I never held the world in my hands
I never even felt a band on my finger
I never had you to hold me at night
I never even had your time
All I had was a body pillow to fight


WHY DO YOU MISS ME?
How can you miss something u never had?
How could I ever make u mad
When you never had me?
How did I ever make u sad?
When you never had me?
Why do you call & tell me u miss me?
When you never had me?
Why do you say that I was your eyes & now can't see
When you never had me?
When did you make a promise come true
When you never had me?




SUICIDE (part of me did die) **this was written during a visit to Daniel's house
I'm a stranger in my skin
My heart is empty within
Should I open my mouth
Why did I come to the South?
All I want is to be with you
But I always feel like poo
When I see your eyes everything disappears
The world stops & you're all I hear
My heart really isn't empty b/c I don't own it
A heart like mine doesn't fit
My soul has been long gone
I keep asking myself what went wrong
This world never stops spinning
And for me there may not be a happy ending
Love, money & happiness is success
But I have none I must confess
No one understands, not even you
All I want is for you to say who
Why must I always fret
To myself I am a threat
The end of the world is near for me
All I want is to be happy
So now everyone can have their way
Keep on living is all I can say